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I deleted my journal.   
02:57pm 09/09/2003
  I don't have time to be here anymore, and I don't want to.




To R:
At first I didn't know what the hell L was talking about. now I got your post. NOW i figured it out. you did NOT read that right. I was absolutely NOT TALKING ABOUT THE PERSON YOU THINK I WAS TALKING ABOUT!! whether you believe this or not, I swear it on my dads grave, and he means the WORLD to me.

I do not wish a horrible death on L's brother, G, nor his girlfriend, AND ESPECIALLY NOT HIS KIDS. I just don't like him very much. that is IT. I don't like her very much. that is IT. I do NOT AT ALL IN ANYWAY want HIM to die, her to Die, or either of his children, only one of wich i have seen.

Now I understand why you thought i was talking about him-the called the person I was talking about THAT BOY the same way I have refered to G. but "THAT BOY" is actually no boy at all, but a full grown MAN who knew my dad, and his KIDS are a girl and a boy, my age and OLDER.

I was talking about 3 people, lets called them, MM1, MM2, and MM3, because all of their initials are MM. MM1 was a friend of my dad. I've known them all my whole life.

When i posted that, I was thinking about how hard college was, and how many hours I have been working lately and how unfair my mom is about my sister. and then my thoughts began to wander back to all the friends I have, the friends I had, and then drifted away from, and the friends where a huge fight ended it all. i just began thinking about something that happened to me a long long LONG time ago. I was just in a grumpy mood, I wasn't even SERIOUS about wishing them a horrible death. I was just feeling pretty pissed about everything that had happened, and i was wondering if my life would be different if my dad never knew MM1, or if he was still alive, would MM! have played such a big part in my life? or would it have been a bigger part or WHAT?

anyway, the general gist of what i just said is this--it wasn't who you were thinking about, it wasn't even really serious, i don't wish they would die, i just am glad I don't see them every other week like i used to. thats ALL.		  
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